Tag Archives: Holidays

CU Nooz’s Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Break is often a stressful time full of personality clashes and ideological disagreements. Here are CU Nooz’s tips for surviving! Offer to breed, raise, slaughter, clean, and roast the turkey to avoid spending time with distant cousins. Communicate only through memes to show your great aunt that your thoughts Read More

Asshole Professor Makes Adorable Gingerbread House

TOMPKINS COUNTY, NY — After approving the grades that would lead 58 students to tears and 17 to change their majors, asshole math professor Nancy Druckman began piping royal icing between walls of delectable cookies to assemble her adorable holiday gingerbread house. Professor Druckman, commonly referred to as “the devil Read More

Junior on Winter Break Unsure What to Do With Leftover Finals Anxiety

GREATER TRI-STATE AREA — After frantically packing and driving for five hours straight, Sharon Crane ‘18 arrived home for winter break with the leftover anxiety she stored up for finals still buzzing in her head. “I know that I’m done with exams and all of the stress is behind me, Read More

International Students Confused About Where Everyone Went

HOLLAND INTERNATIONAL LIVING CENTER – Huddled together in a common room of HILC, the twelve international students left all alone on campus are deeply confused about where everyone went. “Hey, why’d everybody leave?” said bamboozled student Avi Khan after emerging to a cold, desolate wasteland. “Where would everyone need to Read More