January 22, 2016

Rushing Freshman Tries to Make Up More Interesting Hometown

WASHINGTON, DC - JANUARY 28: Phi Gamma Delta VP Garish Sankar (L) in Fiji sweats at the Fiji House meet-and-greet on January 28, 2012.  Phi Gamma Delta (Fiji) at the University of Maryland offered pizza and games as they showed off their fraternity house during 4-7pm. (Photo by Tracy A. Woodward/The Washington Post)

WEST CAMPUS – After two days and dozens of dull conversations with fraternity brothers, Kyle McDonald ‘19 sees his boring hometown on Long Island as a crippling liability that might keep him from getting into his dream frat.

“I just feel like if I had a really cool thing to talk about when I introduce myself, it might be easier to get things rolling, you know?” said McDonald, who feels his suburban life is too ordinary to have a memorable conversation about.

McDonald recalls the utter horror he felt as a brother and another freshman talked about growing up on a farm for a good 15 minutes while he just stood to the side in shock, unable to contribute a single word after saying his name.

“The only thing I was able to talk about all day was the new strip mall that opened up by my high school,” recalled McDonald, who is leaning towards picking a place on the west coast to be his new home, like Seattle or Palo Alto.

After deciding on a new hometown, McDonald plans on fabricating some hobbies and past experiences so he can have more than one subject to talk about.

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