GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Students in Polynesian Practical Politics were sent ducking for cover amidst Professor Paul Peter’s lecture on the Preparedness of Polynesian Professional Politicians. Professor Peter, who is best known for his over-the-top alliteration and his tendency to practically swallow the microphone every class, had students particularly concerned in this lecture.
“The front row is the splash zone. I learned that the hard way in the first class.” explained student Zachary Prescott ’25, “While I did have to air dry several clothing items after that class, I never feared for my life until today.”
The microphone reportedly spent the class producing sparks with each hard gust of air, while the speaker system seemingly rumbled with each pronunciation of “politics.” When approached by a worried student, Professor Peter made the following statement: “It is perpetually putrid that a person presumes popping phonic paraphernalia per my pronunciation of P. You people prophesize preposterously.”
The speaker system, which managed to remain intact throughout that lecture, tragically shattered upon Professor Peter’s recap of his weekend plans, which apparently included “picking a peck of purple peppers.”
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