Tag Archives: professor

Professor Hopes Poor First Impression With Student Won’t Ruin Semester

BAKER LAB—After being caught off guard in an awkward interaction with a member of his 8 AM class, chemistry professor Lee Wilf reportedly hoped that his poor first impression wouldn’t ruin the rest of his semester. “It was 15 minutes before my class started, so I really wasn’t expecting anyone Read More

OP-ED: If Professor Strogatz is So Great, How Come I Still Don’t Know Fractions?

MALOTT HALL — Everyone seems to think Professor Strogatz teaches differential equations phenomenally, so someone please tell me why I’ve spent the last three hours trying to convert two fifths into decimal format? I’m convinced Strogatz doesn’t even have the proper credentials to teach at an institution like Cornell. He Read More

Asshole Professor Assigns Reading When All the Other Shit Is Due

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL – In what is sure to be received as a total dick move by his Earth Science students, asshole Professor Robert Simpson assigned a ninety-page reading for Monday when all everyone’s other shit is due. “This guy’s a total shithead,” said Peter Clegg ‘17, turning two pages Read More