Erudite Freshman Begins Answer With “When I Was Doing the Reading”

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Before answering a question proposed by his professor, freshman John Higgins ‘23 boldly implied to everyone in the room that he had actually done the required readings for class that day and that he was completely ready to deliver an adequate response.

“I really just wanted to clarify that I had done the reading for the day, a task that is normally expected of all of us,” said Higgins. “Despite this fact, some people do not do the readings and I just wanted to make it plainly known that I do, in fact, do all of the readings.”

As intended, Higgins’ act made a substantial impression upon his Professor. “In all of my years of teaching,” said Professor Gerald Drexler, “I have never seen a student with such a remarkable commitment to learning. On the one hand, doing the readings is a feat in itself. But telling me that you’ve done them? That’s simply astonishing. As such, I’ll definitely be rewarding John with a lot of extra credit at the end of the semester.”

While many of Higgins’ classmates also did the reading, none of them felt the need to make it known in this manner, much to their disadvantage. Although answering discussion questions may demonstrate a good level of reading retention, recent studies have shown that publicly announcing that you actually did the readings from your very high horse improves grades by a whole letter on average.

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