Tag Archives: comedy

‘Insecure’ Actor to Perform for Insecure Students

This post is sponsored by Cornell University Program Board (CUPB). Amanda Seales will be performing stand-up at this Saturday, November 3 at 7pm in Statler Auditorium! Tickets are on sale for $5 at cornellconcerts.com. STATLER HALL—Capitalizing upon the success of her role in HBO’s Insecure, Amanda Seales is set to Read More

ROUND II: 2nd Annual Major Cornell Major Tournament!

Click to see enlarged bracket. Vote here for round II!  The results are in – you voted, and 32 majors have moved on to round two of this year’s tournament! There were some huge upsets. Who could have predicted 16 seed Fiber Science to beat out the one seed Hotel Read More

Skits Alum ‘93 Surprised ‘Women Belong In the Kitchen’ Joke Isn’t Killing Like It Used To

This post is sponsored by The Skits. Go see The Skits Present: Shouldn’t We Have Graduated By Now – A 25th Anniversary Alumni Show, Saturday, March 10th at 9:00pm in Barnes Hall. Tickets are $5 and available at www.theskits.com or by emailing skitscomedy@gmail.com BARNES HALL—The much anticipated Skits 25th anniversary Read More

OP-ED: I Rushed a Sorority as an Undercover Russian Agent

I am not a sorority girl. I enjoy neither the effeminate American beer nor singing the praises of true democracy with loud girls. However, after receiving orders from Putin himself, I found myself in the throngs of brainwashed, constitution-loving idiots, blending in well with my collection of Johnny Cash T-shirts. Read More

“I Could’ve Done Better” Reports Friend Group Jokester After Comedy Show

This post is sponsored by The Skits. Come see The Skits Present: Family Dinner, Friday, December 1st at 8:30pm in Statler auditorium. Tickets are $5 and available at www.theskits.com or by emailing skitscomedy@gmail.com STATLER AUDITORIUM—After a rousing comedy sketch show,classic friend group jokester Freddie Huang ‘18 reported that, in his Read More

Early Grad to Gain Real-World Experience in Unemployment

LINDEN AVE—Following his imminent graduation in December, senior Parker Samuels ‘18 will gain valuable real-world experience in being unemployed. “There seems to be a stigma attached to having no job lined up,” observed Samuels. “But just like other post-grad plans, being unemployed is a full-time commitment.” The early grad added Read More

Undergrad TA Actually Helps A Student

PHYSICAL SCIENCES BUILDING—After having spent three months last year studying Intro Physics and receiving a B in the class, Undergraduate TA Chet Fairweather ’19 demonstrated his physics expertise by actually helping a student. “I normally send people with questions directly to the more experienced grad TAs or the professor, and Read More

Freshman Gives Up On Losing Virginity After Failing to Hook Up During O-Week

MEWS HALL– After failing to hook up during his first weekend of college, Freshman Jonny Waters is convinced that he will never fulfill his dream of losing his virginity and will therefore remain celibate for the rest of his life. “I went to a ton of parties, met some girls, Read More