Tag Archives: President

BREAKING: The Code Martha Pollack Will Run for Her Speech Just Leaked

while( speech_is_not_finished ) {         read_speech(); } if( asked_question ) {         if( question == “are you a robot?”)         {                 no();         }         else         {                 smile_and_laugh();         } } leave_immediately_and_recharge_battery();

OP-ED: I’ve Been President Three Times and All I Get Is a Piece of Grass?!

RAWLINGS GREEN— So today is the final day that I’m going to be President of Cornell. Believe it or not, I’ve had this exact same thought twice before. It’s been a great three rides and an incredible experience being able to lead such a wonderful University, but even after all Read More

Martha E. Pollack Welcome Party Clearly Planned With Someone Else in Mind

WILLARD STRAIGHT — Following invitations to ‘Celebrate our next female president,’ the Cornell Democrats’ welcome party for Cornell’s newly announced 14th president Martha E. Pollack seems planned with someone else clearly in mind. “A lifelong fighter for children and families, from her time at Wellesley College in the 1960s to Read More

Government Major Convinced He Would Probably Be Great President

GOLDWIN SMITH HALL — Admitting that it will probably happen in his bright future, Government major Conrad Davis ’17 is convinced that he could actually be a great president someday. “I know it’s a long shot, but I’d do a good job,” Davis said, his voice resonating with the leadership Read More

Campus Glad Cornell Republicans’ Vote Won’t Count

Breathing a large sigh of relief, the Cornell community was glad to hear the Cornell Republicans’ votes will not count in the 2016 election after club endorsed Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. “It was touch and go for the past week, and we were sure this announcement was going to endorse Read More