Nooz Staff February 6, 2019

After Fixing Cornell, Martha Pollack Takes on IBM Job

DAY HALL— After under two years as president of Cornell University, Martha Pollack has solved every major problem facing the 24,000-student, 3,000-faculty member university and is now taking on IBM as a member of its Board of Directors.

“When I came here in 2017, this place was a real dump,” said President Pollack. “But then I banned hard alcohol at frat parties, hired a few therapists, and kept university financial decisions safe from the prying eyes of students and staff. There’s really nothing left to do.”

Despite concerns about her splitting time, President Pollack assured the Cornell community she would be happily create a handful of task forces and be available by phone if there were any big decisions to be made.

“The truth is that she didn’t have much to do on a regular basis,” said Vice President Ryan Lombardi. “Sure, there was a lot of work when she took over, but she righted the ship in no time, so she can move on and do something more challenging with her career.”

President Pollack credits her experience protecting Cornell for preparing her for the IBM Board position, noting her duty to protect the best interests of the company’s shareholders

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