AEM to Add Classes Based on The Wolf of Wall Street

ITHACA, NY-Although Martin Scorsese’s blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street came out just weeks ago, students are already demanding more classes that will jumpstart their career aspirations of emulating the lifestyle of Jordan Belfort, protagonist of the film. Cornell has already responded to student’s demands, and has started creating classes that will be added to the registrar in Fall 2014.

The listing includes straightforward courses like AEM 3400, Advanced Stock Trading and AMST 2000, The History of Wall Street, but also includes others like:

AEM 1006 Midget Tossing
ECON 4000 Bribing Federal Agents
AEM 3010 How to Use Swiss Bank Accounts to Avoid Taxes
ECON 4020 Basics of Money Laundering
CHEM 3100 Cocaine, Quaaludes, and Other Drugs
PAM 4210 SEC Investigations
HADM 3810 Picking the Right Yacht
LING 1150 Spiritual Humming and Chest Pounding
COMM 2380 The Power of Dramatic Speeches
PMA 1800 The Magic of Jonah Hill

President of Cornell, David Skorton, released a statement saying, “While we hope no one goes to jail, does drugs, or ends up teaching in New Zealand, we do wish nothing but success for our students. Our esteemed staff across multiple departments and colleges will teach students not only what it’s like to work on Wall Street, but how to make it big. Hopefully, they will stay inside the bounds of the law, or at least, be better at hiding their indiscretions than Belfort.”