“What The Fuck” Forecasted for This Week

The National Weather Service has issued a severe weather warning to residents of Tompkins county due to high chances of what the fuck. Meteorologists say that during the coming days there is an 80% chance of bullshit, with a strong god dammit coming from the north at 12 mph. Temperatures will drop as low as I hate my life by noon, and there will be a moderate accumulation, 1-2 inches, of I’ve had it with this shit already. Cornell students, faculty and staff are encouraged to stay indoors until the what the fuck system has passed.

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