Skorton Announces Plan to Remove All Dinosaur Bones, Fun from Smithsonian

WASHINGTON- In a press release Wednesday, the Smithsonian announced that as his first act as secretary, David Skorton planned to remove all dinosaur bone displays and other exhibits that could be considered fun from the institution’s museums. “The Smithsonian is an institution of higher learning. This is no place for an absolutely awesome, fully-assembled triceratops skeleton,” said the current Cornell University president and champion of anti-fun initiatives at the school. “The same can be said about our interactive exhibits, IMAX theater, and the whole Air and Space Museum. And don’t even get me started on gift shops.” At press time, sources confirmed that Skorton’s next plan was to work on improving the mental health of museum visitors by having more long lines.

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