Cornell Botanists Say Smell Coming From Greenhouse Definitely Corpse Plant

Kenneth Post Greenhouse —  In response to inquiries of a suspicious rotting smell that was emanating from one of Cornell’s many greenhouses last week, Cornell botanists have said that was definitely caused the corpse plant and not anything nefarious or illegal.

“Haha, what? Why are you even asking?” Plant Biology professor Melinda Luckow asked with a nervous laugh. “It’s not like we would ever hide a dead body in the greenhouse and use the corpse plant to cover up the smell until the heat from the cops died down. That would be absurd!”

Luckow continued to say that it would be equally ridiculous if Tony’s cousin said he could clean everything up for 10,000$ but then disappeared with the money.

“People make mistakes! Should my entire life be ruined just because of bad night? It wasn’t even my fault. I swear to god I thought he had a knife! … Is what I would say if it wasn’t just the corpse plant in the greenhouse.” said an increasingly desperate Luckow

The smell is reported to have abruptly come to a stop late last week

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