After months of anticipation, the University finally announced decisions for the undergraduate Class of 2019. Here are the official admissions statistics of those lucky 15% that were accepted:
- 1st – 21st generation college student: 100%
- Admissions Department Favorite Student: Jared
- Middle 50% of admitted students scored between 90 and 95
- Of Football recruits, those who played in high school: 8%
- Total Height: 211,965 inches
- Intended Major: Biometry and Statistics
- 12% Faster than Class of 2018
- Children of crestfallen Princeton alumni: 11%
- SAT Score: Enough
- International students: Yes
- Bug-people: 40%
- Future presidents: *sigh*
- Frisbees per person: 6.1
- Unicycle Guy: Needed
- School Spirit: Already waning
Related Posts
Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench
Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer
Student Receives Journal and Therapy, Stops Writing for Daily Sun Opinion Section
Evil Professor To Teach All Classes in Your Major, Minor, and Distribution Requirements Next Semester
Like This!
