DAY HALL — Following increased calls for transparency, CUPD has decided that in addition to using body cameras, it will Snapchat every arrest it makes in an attempt to gain the trust of the Cornell community.
Under the handle “coolcopz”, Cornell’s finest will keep their Snapstory updated with a constant feed of misdemeanors and faceswaps with felons. “But we understand that gets a little heavy, so we’ll add cute snaps of our drug dog, too,” promised Officer Greg Linder.
“Snapchat would allow us to send shaky ten-second videos of criminals in action with a geotag,” said Chief Kathy Zoner, explaining that this could help CUPD connect with students in a familiar and relatable way.
“By sending mass snaps, we’re building a relationship with the student body that allows for greater accountability,” said a confident officer before choosing the flower crown filter, pursing his lips into a “duck-like” formation, and submitting his selfie to the Ivy League Snap Story.