GOLDWIN SMITH HALL — In an ingenious display of sophistication, first-year student Ryley Carpenter confidently typed his first essay for HIST 1260: The Italian Renaissance in a font sure to catch his professor’s eye:
Peers who had reviewed Carpenter’s essay felt his arguments that “Da Vinci was kinda mid, actually” were compelling but ultimately unconvincing. Professor Maya Rossi ‘86 expressed similar skepticism about the quality of his work.
“Ryley has presented some novel ideas about the early Renaissance, but every now and then he says something weird and a little racist,” said Rossi. “He keeps mentioning some ‘big surprise’ that will make his essay ‘really pop,’ so I assume he’s planning to bring in Little Caesars when he submits it or something.”
At press time, Carpenter added a final brilliant masterstroke to his opus: primary source material would be written in