Confused Frat Doorman Asks Attendees if They Have Three Brothers

THURSTON AVENUE—Partygoers were perplexed when Phi Alpha Rho doorman Terrance Robinson ‘25 asked them if they had three brothers before admitting them to the event.

“I think the guy was kinda in over his head,” said attendee Jared Carlson ‘24. “I thought I’d misheard [Robinson] at first, but he was insistent that I tell him my siblings’ names. I only have a brother and a sister, so I assumed I’d get turned back, but then he started asking if I had any pets. After I showed him some pictures of my dog, he said that was good enough and let me in. Nice guy, really.”

Serving in his first shift as frat doorman, Robinson was a cheerful presence, striking up conversations with attendees and eliciting stories about people’s families before admitting almost everyone. The sophomore seemed to revel in his role.

“I wasn’t really sure why the guys wanted me to ask about people’s brothers, but everyone seemed happy—and almost a little relieved—to chat,” said Robinson. “I’m an only child, so I always love hearing people get excited about their families. It makes me think about what my life would be like if I had siblings. They say being in a frat is the same idea, but just seeing how people’s eyes would light up… it just isn’t the same. Plus, some of their brothers had really stupid names. One of them was named Lester, can you believe that?”

Sources suggest Robinson will soon receive some brotherly love from fratmates peeved by the party’s horrible ratio.

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