Odd One Out: Sextuplet Excluded From New High Rise Lounge

HIGH RISE 5—To accommodate a larger-than-expected first-year class that they definitely expected, Cornell Housing and Residential Life has recently converted student lounges in certain buildings to quintuples. This was an immense disappointment to Jackie Bruno ‘27, who was the only one of her identical siblings assigned to a different room. 

“Alexa, Amanda, Anna, Anika, and Alana were ecstatic when they logged into the housing portal. There, in beautiful bold letters it read: High Rise Floor 2 Lounge, Balcony Access Prohibited. For the mere price of a triple!” Bruno exclaimed. “I, on the other hand, was exiled to a lowly McClintock single. I can’t believe Cornell Housing would do such a thing!”

Jackie has made every effort to be included in the quintuple, even going so far as to file a request with Housing and Residential Life to move out of her assigned room. “It was really strange. For some reason under my sibling’s “requested roommates,” my netID wasn’t there. ”

The first-year was extremely upset: “I’ve been with them since the womb until high school, and now we’re being separated because Cornell doesn’t want to add another bunk bed? The rooms are already unlivable!” she fumed. “Just squeeze one more bed, that’s all I ask. Now I’m the black sheep, forever an outsider.”

Sources close to the Brunos reported that Jackie is no longer considered part of the family. She was last seen weeping outside of High Rise 5.

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