ARTS QUAD – Classes have officially begun, which means getting settled into routines, staving off mounting exhaustion, and spotting familiar faces around campus. For Elizabeth Valenciano ‘26, however, the start of classes would also bring about an uncomfortable surprise.
Valenciano and several of her friends were spotted leaving Goldwin Smith Hall when they were approached at an alarming speed by a fellow with a profoundly determined expression. “He ran toward us at full speed–I thought he was running late or maybe just a freshman or something–but then he started shouting ‘LIZ! LIZZYBETH! LIZZY!’” reported Ava Zhao ‘26.
“I was confused,” Valenciano later stated. “All my friends just call me Elizabeth.” As the boy advanced with a speed and intensity akin to a hyena descending upon a pack of gazelles, it became increasingly clear that the intended target of his eager gaze was, in fact, Valenciano.
According to Zhao, upon reaching them, the student exclaimed “Hey, where’s my hug, Liz! I haven’t seen you since last fall! Where’s my hug? Man, I really miss seeing you every week in FWS. Where’s my hug? That Feminism for All Genders was a real doozy, wasn’t it? Anyway, where’s my hug?” Zhao and the rest of Valenciano’s friends then watched on somberly as their dear friend was swallowed by the suffocating hug of the unidentified man.
At press time, Valenciano shared that she remains puzzled by the interaction and the identity of the student, never having taken an FWS before.
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