BARTON HALL- Jeremy Schmidt ’19, a Freshman AEM major, stopped by today’s career fair to present the J.P. Morgan recruiters with a distinguished copy of the same resume he used in high school.
“National Honor Society AND Recycling Club. Once J.P. Morgan sees that, they can’t turn me down,” stated Schmidt, who is 3 weeks into Intro Microeconomics, his first business-related class ever.
Schmidt argued that his diverse resume sets him apart from other J.P. Morgan hopefuls. “Teamwork? I played little league baseball through 9th grade. Leadership? I was a Counselor in Training at day camp for two weeks last summer. Creativity? I placed 3rd in a school-wide art contest in 10th grade. It’s impossible to look at this resume and think I’m under qualified.”
Schmidt claimed he expects email correspondence from J.P. Morgan this weekend, completely ignoring the “internships for rising juniors and seniors only” sign as he exited.
Related Posts
Morrison Dining Petitions Cornell for Increased Funding After Spending Over Half the Budget on Windex
Student Receives Journal and Therapy, Stops Writing for Daily Sun Opinion Section
Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench
“It’s Been the Best Four Years of My Life!” Admitted Student Tour Guides Notably Excluded From Freedom of Speech Protections
Like This!
