December 2, 2015

Professor Trying to Understand Inferior, Feeble Mind in Office Hours

BAKER HALL — After trying several times to help one of his students with a difficult problem set, Materials Science Professor Dr. Jared Schafer was still attempting to comprehend Sophie Adler’s ’18 baffling inability to understand difficult concepts.

“I’m really having a hard time understanding why you’re not getting this,” he said to the novice he saw as a hopeless cause. “I could’ve sworn I saw you in yesterday’s lecture,” said Schafer, as he entertained the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the stress-addled undergraduate was just messing with him.

When asked to comment on the situation, Schafer said, “I try to figure out how to solve the problem of showing students how to solve this problem. As it turns out, that’s a very difficult and tiring job. At times, the best answer is to recommend students like Sophie need to find another career path.”

Schafer is currently in search of a tutor to teach him how to not understand his material so he can better assist his pupils.

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