BAILEY HALL — The Cornell University Program Board will present famed comedy persona “Hannibal,” Friday night in Bailey Hall. CUPB says that they are delighted to bring such an eloquent and voracious speaker to campus.
“He’s exactly the type of comedian we were looking for,” said CUPB Chairperson Gabe Diamond ‘18, “We think he’ll kill tonight. Absolutely knock ‘em dead.”
Many students are excited to see Hannibal, who is known for his unique ability to really capture an audience, and bust their guts wide open.
“I’m sure the performance will be… delectable,” commented Hannibal, licking his lips in anticipation. “These students will be screaming. I’m sure I will get their juices flowing all over Bailey Hall before the night is over. My mouth is watering just thinking of it.”
“Look, it’s not like he’s going to eat anyone. We talked to him. He promised he won’t eat anyone. We really hope he is not going to eat anyone,” said Diamond.
At press time, Hannibal was complaining about the lack of finger-food backstage in the green room.