September 24, 2016

Campus Loses Bet After Football Win

SCHOELLKOPF — With a nail-biting 27 to 13 win over Yale University, the Cornell campus lost a humongous bet of collectively over $6,000,000 at the Homecoming game this afternoon.

“I can’t believe I lost that much money,” said Daniel Nogroski ’18, who expected a 10:1 payout on Cornell losing and planned to spend his winnings on a new pair of shoes.

Hundreds of Cornell alumni came to campus for the Big Red’s first game in the Ivy League conference, with the intention of putting money on the Yale Bulldogs in hopes to make a surefire buck.

“I brought the kids out here for the big game, and sure we won, but now my wife insists I need to stop gambling,” said Trevor Liebman ’83.

At press time, Football Head Coach David Archer was seen slumped over in the locker room softly muttering the phrase “I’m ruined.”

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