OP-ED: Frat Bro Want Go Party Now

ALPHA BETA GAMMA — Hello! Me name Dylan Williams. Dylan like go party and drink lots, have good time.

Is there party now? Dylan want party now! We go party soon, so Dylan have fun with different people than normal.

Drinking at party good for Dylan, and Dylan very happy. Maybe Dylan even do handstand on beer bucket! Handstand good way to make friends. More friends more good. Dylan very popular guy, everyone think so.

Dylan hate hangover. Hangover make Dylan sad. But hangover not happen until morning and party happen now! Go party go!

Dylan like meet pretty girl. Pretty girl love Dylan, why not Dylan and pretty girl do things together? Dylan like things.

At party, Dylan can be real self. Dylan fun, friendly guy who love party and beer and party. Sometime, it good to unwind and forget about little thing.

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