‘Twas the night before Slope Day, and all through Cornell,
All the students were partying, and drinking like hell
At two, the students, they went on their way,
To get into bed, and prepare for Slope Day
The campus, all buzzing, too giddy to snooze
From Becker to Sheldon, and even in Mews
At seven, they rose, and all yelled with glee,
It’s Slope Day! It’s Slope Day! Let’s party! Whoopee!
On Keystone, on Andre, tequila and lime!!
On vodka, on whiskey, and it’s Miller Time!
Their pancakes were ready, their sunscreen applied,
Their tank tops not clever, but hey, they tried
The moment had come to head to the slope,
One more sip of drink, one more puff of dope
The sounds! The lights! The tank tops galore!
The crowds! The sweat! The vomit! And more!
The music was sick, the students were sicker
The freshmen were trying to handle their liquor
Out on the slope there arose such a clatter
As Brasstracks and S’natra pretended to matter
Food and drink vendors, to keep them all sober,
While old bottles of booze were dug up from October
With nary a creak, Misterwives appeared
Their lyrics unknown, yet people still cheered
Some students took naps, skin turning all red,
As visions of Kendrick danced in their heads
Big Gigantic was next, to close out the show
Finally, a band some people might know!
The concert went on for what seemed like forever,
All were still jolly, but the tanks still weren’t clever
The moshing went on, the dancing contagious,
The folks at the front, boy are they courageous
But after a while, the music was done,
For the last time, we get it, your tank top’s a pun
Hundreds of students, all stumbling back,
To search for a bed, or maybe a snack
And thus it was over, and all was alright
Merry Slope Day to all, and to all a drunk night!