Nooz Staff April 29, 2020

Lucky Student Manages to Snag Thirty Free Tables in Temple of Zeus During Lunch Rush

TEMPLE OF ZEUS—Scrambling to beat the lunch rush at Temple of Zeus, Jackson France ’23 was elated to find the thirty tables he wanted all free. 

“I’m always extra vigilant on Mac and Cheese Day because I know how cutthroat it can get,” explained France. “I didn’t expect to get more than 22 or 23 tables, but man did I hit the jackpot! I’m so relieved I got the fifty feet of legroom I need to be productive.”

France was relieved to find over two dozen seating options with close proximity to wall outlets. “I was also afraid I’d have to wait forever in line—I’ve seen it stretch for one, even two people. But it went crazy fast! There was nobody in front of me, and when I got to the soup counter I didn’t even see people there to serve it,” he continued. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow for sure,” he concluded. “I just hope the building is unlocked this time, so I don’t have to break in again.”

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