February 1, 2016

Garrett Commissions New College of Business for Engineering Students to Transfer Into

DAY HALL — President Elizabeth Garrett announced this past weekend the creation of the new Cornell College of Business, an amalgamation of the School of Hotel Administration, the Dyson School of Applied Economics & Management and the Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management. This new college will serve as a revolutionary new program which engineering students can transfer into once they feel sufficiently overwhelmed.

“We believe our engineering students should have every opportunity possible to not pursue engineering,” said Provost Michael Kotlikoff in an email to students reminding them that if they want to make good money after school and don’t care how, the College of Business is always a viable option.

Students and faculty are ambivalent about the consequences of the College of Business, much in the same way the administration is ambivalent about the direction of the college. fearing that the number of engineers transferring to CALS will dwindle. However, many are excited at the idea of becoming world industry leaders without having to study fluid dynamics or embedded systems.

“I for one wish the business school was around when I was an undergrad,” said Gary Steinbach ’97, “then I could’ve been a big-shot CEO, but now all I’m doing is robotics at NASA. I used to have dreams, you know.”

Though engineers may see a silver lining in the new school, not everyone has life so easy, such as the hotelies forced into the program, who are still trying to figure out what else there could possibly be to administer.

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