September 15, 2017

Freshman Waiting on Mom to Cut Up Large Piece of Chicken

ROBERT PURCELL MARKETPLACE EATERY— Accustomed to home-cooked meals served in bite-sized chunks, Neil Doyle ‘21 realized that without his mom to help, he had no idea how to cut the large piece of dining hall chicken on his plate.

“There’s a bone in here,” muttered the utterly-stumped freshman, studying the inconvenient slab of meat and trying to recall what Mrs. Doyle would do. “I could use a knife, but then how would I navigate around the icky skin and gummy parts?”

Doyle prodded the lump impatiently while lamenting the troublesome presentation of his main course, which would never have happened in the comfort of his home.

“I just wish Mom was here to make a friendlier dinner that I could actually understand,” said the flustered student as he remembered the thin slices of chicken breast she would fold into his sandwiches, or the fun-sized Dino nuggets he could actually bite.

Defeated, Doyle tossed his cumbersome entree, instead opting for a bowl of off-brand Lucky Charms and calling his mother for once to tell her how much he missed her.

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