February 8, 2018

An In-Depth Review of Collegetown Restaurants

Collegetown is one of the biggest perks of spending 4 years above Cayuga’s Waters, offering incredibly diverse culinary experiences. We sent a writer out to determine, once and for all, which eatery is the true champion of the hungry student.

CTB: Absolute let down. I was so excited to try the place EVERYONE talks about, but it was one of the most abhorrent dining experiences I have ever had. After waiting 15 minutes for folks ordering Liz Lemonades to get out of the way, I was finally able to grab a dinky plastic cup and start filling up with water. But 5 seconds into getting a lukewarm excuse for refreshment, the tiny faucet gave up. What, did they expect me to pay for a bottle of water? That’s basically a violation of human rights. I’m never going back.

Ruloffs: The waiter quickly carried over an sleek carafe chilled to perfection, with a light layer of thinly chopped ice at the top. I think this is some water I can get behind. Minus one star; it could have used a slice of lemon.

DeTasty Hot Pot: Everything was going well at the start. Larger glass than most, decent amount of ice. But as the meal rolled on, I could feel the panic settling in. I had barely a fourth of my water left when the waitress came over. I got a “how is everything over here?” without the slightest glance at my dwindling glass. What came next was pure agony. Bite after bite of spicy Asian food without a drop left. It was only when I yelped for the bill with my last dehydrated breath that she noticed. Service like that could get people imprisoned in some countries.

The Nines: Giving you a pitcher of water is a nice touch. Gives you the freedom to choose how much you need, exactly when you need it. However, the water-to-ice ratio is completely off. Have some self-respect.

Aladdins: I felt like I was sitting on a beach by the Mediterranean. I could feel warm grains of sunkissed sand between my toes with every drop that fell from their elegant glass goblets. Absolutely exquisite.

Taco Truck: Fuck it, I’m just gonna eat some snow.

Like This!