Nooz Staff December 5, 2019

“Come On In!” Olin Librarian Encourages as Wrecking Ball Smashes Through Circulation Desk

OLIN LIBRARY — Librarians at Olin Library are reportedly still enthusiastic about getting students to use their library  despite current construction actively destroying their workplace..

“We’re really excited about the new renovations going on here,” said librarian Dana Holcomb ‘89, gesturing to the crushed wreck that once was the circulation desk. “Unfortunately, that does mean you may have to deal with some noise here and there  and of course the occasional truck backing through a wall. But this is hardly prohibitive—it’s really easy to dodge a rogue front end loader if you notice it far enough in advance.”

Although some have expressed concern about the disturbances caused by the updates to the library’s terrace, the staff maintains that Olin is still a great space for students to collaborate and study. “It’s still the same old Olin!” Holcomb shouted, straining to be heard above the jackhammer smashing a hole through the floor near the entrance.

Holcomb did acknowledge that some students find the agitated environment offputting. “Some students require some coaxing, but—oh shit, look out!” she yelled as a chunk of the ceiling crushed through the ground immediately next to her. After confirming that the floor would not collapse, Holcomb began to chuckle.

“It keeps you on your toes,” she said. “Who knew being a librarian would be such good exercise?”

At press time, Holcomb was seen fishing a Libe Cafe barista out of a recently-opened sinkhole.

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