DAY HALL—The Cornell administration released sweeping new restrictions on Greek life featuring a rule that bans hazing inside of residential chapter houses, but would probably let that stuff slide in annexes.
“I understand that there is a deep and storied history of new member education in Greek houses, but this rule is an important step towards keeping hazing more on the down low,” President Martha Pollack said in an email to the Ithaca campus community. “I look forward to a future where no Cornell student has to undergo hazing outside of small houses in Collegetown.”
The new rules are intended to keep residential chapter houses respectful and quiet places for new members to bond with brothers that will haze them as soon as they walk out of the house.
Greek organizations caught off guard by the new rule are already rushing to update their hazing plans. “I have no idea how we’ll be able to properly abuse pledges with such a short notice,” said Pi Lambda Phi President Kyler Jackson ‘19. “We just finished renovations on our house’s pledge dungeon.”
“Sure we’ll have to drive some cages and shit from North,” said Alpha Tau Omega brother Griffith Harrison ‘20, “but I can’t even imagine how much it’s gonna suck for next year’s freshmen when they have to to walk back all the way from Collegetown half-naked every night for three months.”
Pollack expects that this change will fix everything by 2021.