Group of Frat Boys Without Masks Sitting on Their Porch Does Not Violate Behavioral Compact, Just Vaguely Threatening

COLLEGETOWN—While not a violation of any official health ordinance, a maskless group of six fraternity brothers hanging out on their porch this weekend was deemed by onlookers as deeply unsettling.

“I counted, and their group is definitely less than 10 people,” confirmed Melody Dominguez ’21. “Regardless, something about it still feels like it poses a danger to the public.”

The non-descript group of young men listened to music on medium volume, played assorted drinking games, and prompted every female passerby near their house to cross the street to maintain a distance well-beyond the conventional 6 feet.

“I had to do a double-take to make sure everything was in order,” said Rick Sobieski ’23, a member of the Cornell Compliance Team. “While they technically weren’t breaking any rules, I can’t help but characterize whatever it is they were up to as detrimental to the health of our community.”

The fraternity brothers reported that while they were glad to have followed the rules this time, they looked forward to violating the compact sometime in the near future.