Campus to Introduce Permanent Patch Of Dirt With A Few Trucks On It

ARTS QUAD—In an announcement that sent shockwaves throughout campus, President Martha Pollack unveiled construction plans for a new dusty home for minimally labeled and questionably permitted trucks in the middle of the arts quad.

“We really wanted to spruce up the place,” wrote Pollack in her Monday morning email, “I kept looking at all that expansive grass out there and couldn’t help but think it needed something more—something which had a humble pizzazz, something which has individuality: an avant-garde installation which a student of the arts could appreciate.”

Named after the donors who will fund the $2 million project, the William and Florence Frenk Dirt-Truck Patch follows the success of North Campus’s Risley Dirt-Truck Patch, although this addition will be far less dominated by rocks and will try to improve the dirt’s sandiness. However, the university has decided to continue to use an array of white Ford F150 pickup trucks.

“The purpose of this project is not to merely tantalize the human eye but to make its viewer ask questions, which in a way, are reflections of the subjectivity of our existence. Does the caution tape outlining only one part of one edge of the patch mean you can walk through it if needed, or not? Why is there a man in a hard hat just sort of pacing around the trucks for hours on end some days? Why are there no license plates? These questions all have no concrete answers to them—your own conclusions, however, will mimic your inner self.”

Construction on the project will tentatively begin next week and continue into the spring of 2031.

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